Slow down

In some ways I wish I never had to go back, that I could just turn my back on them. It is evident that they were never supposed to have these roles, never really thought them through, well that's my luck. I know it could be worse, but I hate that saying it is beyond irritating to me. I feel bad and then I don't. It's a constant war between my head, history and common sense.

You are right they are terrible,
well I mean they have their good moments,
but doesn't everyone?
Isn't everyone just made of good parts?
That's true no one is a perfect whole.

I don't know I guess I really am just ready to let go of this place and all the attachment and sentiment. the people in this house, the good the bad, the especially ugly and the beautiful moments where I woke up to sunshine and snow days.

"I suppose I should hope that it turns out fine
But I hope that some sadness does cross your mind
And you'll look for me when you have crossed that line
Come one day

But, I can't wait for you
I can't wait for you"

I woke up this morning to my phone buzzing in my ear. I had several messages, one of which was from you. So naturally I asked how you were doing, what was going on in your life. I really shouldn't be bothered that you are building a home and a family with someone else, but it tears apart at a little piece of me I thought I let go. We should have never dragged this out for all these years. It's weird thinking about all the winters we spent together, winter was our season. Winters and summers. We used to own the night, you still remember don't you?