It's been awhile

I haven't written in awhile not even in my paper journals because I've been working and in the process of moving into my new apartment!

You stayed with me even after you were gone I saw you in my dreams, I saw you in the reflection of the water and I could've sworn it was real. I missed you so much it was starting to eat at me, I literally could not shut my eyes without replaying that Sunday and start to drift off. I don' know what things will be like when you come home, will you still be one of the best friends I have ever had? Or will we pretend that this whole year didn't happen? That you weren't my shoulder to lean on, that I wasn't the one person you told all your secrets to. It's so hard losing friends and even still heartbreaking when you lose a great friend. Someone who gives you as much as you give them, and you don't feel slighted for once.

Summer's Past

It's really weird hearing from you again just because well how things took that unfortunate turn. I didn't know who's side to be on, but I really was on yours. However, blood is thicker than water and I didn't have much of a choice to stop being your friend. I know that you didn't mean to do what you did on purpose, things just got out of hand so fast. I thought it was hysterical most of the night until the end. I sincerely hope you are doing well, I have no hard feelings towards you what so ever and I don't think I ever did. You really are an intelligent, nice and hilarious person with even more hilarious friends. I just thought that things would turn out different. I thought that when you came home it would smell like summer again. I thought that when you came home we could si in your back yard and talk about the stars just one more time.

It's weird that these really are the very last days of summer and they just keep getting better and crazier. I spent the whole day floating down a river, running into rapids and laughing with friends. I've got some battle scars and I got a more than decent tan. We danced, we sang, she cried and I fell in love with summer all over again. It is bitter sweet because I've made a lot of new friends this summer and I want to just keep spending all my time outside and surrounded by them all. Tomorrow all of us are going to Misquamicut beach for our last get together before we all go our separate ways. Honestly, despite everything I am happier than ever.



let this be our little secret
no one needs to know were feeling
higher and higher and higher
but i feel alive and i feel it in me
up and up i keep on climbing
higher and higher and higher

This seems all too familiar, but at the same time it really is someone else, a different time and a better place.
We sat in your hide away watching each others' faces and the lights of the candles flickering.
Smoking, and talking.
I watched you watching me, laughing around each bend and turn, faster and faster.
And you've got lips I could spend a day with.

at the time I thought it was for your own good but it was just for my own mind

"Cause when it's good
it's really good
But when it's bad
well, you know how it goes
'Cause we are alone
when we are together
We're each inside our own heads
we can be like this for hours
And we can be good, yeah
if we want to be good
If we try, I know that we can be good" Via Audio - We Can Be Good

This feeling, this feeling of feeling so much at one time is what I've been trying to get back to for over 2 years, this is what I want.







I'm always staring at your smile.