Ironically ironic

"You're trying so hard not to be what you already are, and that's okay because I really like who you are."

my body is a cage that keeps me from dancing with the one i love

My mind is a series of disconnected wires. I don't make any sense to anyone but myself, I can not explain my actions so I make up an excuse that I am crazy, I am not. But it's easier to just say that rather than try to rationalize what I do and say. I recognize what you are saying, but why should I have to hold back? Why shouldn't I be allowed to make these actions to say what I feel, am I not entitled? I am plagued by an illness I can not control, it controls my mind, but mostly my equilibrium. I just want someone to understand what this feels like, I wouldn't wish i t on anyone I just can't keep trying to go through this by myself. I am not producing as much blood as I should be, because I keep losing blood everyday. I wake up clutching my sides, I want to scream but I still get up, my daily routine is starting to take so much out of me. I go to bed at night more exhausted than I've ever been, and still...

My body is a cage
We take what we're given
Just because you've forgotten, that don't mean you're forgiven
I'm living in an age
Still turning in the night
But when I get to the doorway
There's no one in sight
I'm living in an age
Realizing I'm dancing
With the one I love
But my mind holds the key
You're still next to me
My mind holds the key
Set my spirit free

breathing patterns

This feeling of when it gets colder my heart gets warmer is comforting. It starts to let people back in, and I annually break down every wall I've built around myself. I make realizations about those who I thought would be my pillars, but have turned out to be just ruins. I can not lean on them any longer. "I got it, you got somewhere else to be." After last night I can look past it, I've looked past everything I felt like you were sleeping next to me again. Your breathing lulling me to sleep. My eyes watered from the early morning light seeping into the blinds, and because I was/am completely content. It's the ambient music that I fall back into step with, it's the coexistence, and it's my mind playing tricks on me. Your bare face, god I haven't seen it in so long, and you looked taller. Just sitting on my couch watching tv and talking with your best friend. You never once looked at the candles, or the glaring screen, or his beard, I was the focus point. The lines on your face will always give you away.