Saturday, July 18, 2009

Cus maybe you want him, like you want me, only truly.

I am free. There is no one tying me down. I am not obligated to anyone. I am no one's best friend. I am free to drift from place to place. Change my persona. And it just feels too good. I lived and I learned. I am prepared to drink a season of doubt. I am going to shake off these past couple of months.

I used to find myself with you on rooftops, in the passenger seat of your car, looking over a cityscape, your confident, your only friend. I stayed up late helping you and researching your papers, studying with you over cups of coffee that seemed to disappear within a few very short minutes. At one point I supplied you with pills, you still have my little hand painted box, I want it back. I laughed with you, I cried with you, I grew with you. I spent months wondering what I did, I analyzed our very first get together dissecting the subjects of our conversation and the subtexts of your jokes. There was nothing I did wrong, it was you the whole time. We spent a lot of time together at night, in diners sipping on shitty coffee. I still think of that photograph of you in black and white, with your head turned away from me.

"It hurts when you rule me, and everyone can see through me."
- American Analog Set


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