I'm lying on the cold cold tile, the door next to me has a terrible draft, I look down at my legs they are all pastel and translucent. My veins are so defined like the circles around my eyes, I swore I could see the blood flowing right through me. Bones I haven't seen in years are becoming more defined so I have to hold myself closer, gotta hold it all in. My shoulder blades are popping out of my skin like bird wings, if only I could fly. My summer skin is long gone, with my long mass of Auburn curls. My skin is tinted a million shades of blue and you. My hair is back to black, like a dark crown that sits on my head. I feel awkward in several more layers than everyone around me.
Your finger tapped me on the shoulder, with a sneer like that you might as well be a cartoon you look so god damn comical. You added a comment that's dripping wet with ignorance. I ran across the tile, leaping over everyone and dodging questions. My hands grab both sides of the sink I look at myself, where has all the color gone? I am so pale. I wipe off my makeup and head out and there you are telling everyone about what I did. I was humiliated, looking around at everyone's faces, I tried to read them, did I let them down too? I storm out avoiding looking at the black holes, I can't but yet again you jerk my shoulder backwards. It takes everything in me not to lose my composure and walk right out that drafty door. I dive in, I don't feel the temperature I just glide right through gritting my teeth so hard my jaws starts to crack. I got out to stretch my muscles thin, my head is down and no one seems to get the message. When were any of you ever here for me? Why is it now you are swarming? The slip of paper told me to check off what I need help with I took my pencil and made heavy check marks next to grieving, mental diseases including paranoia, anxiety and depression. After my big race you say

Hey all you have to do is listen.

I do. But everything you're saying has been forced, repeated to you, a lie, the right thing to do. No I will not accept you can't make me look weak in front of anyone. I took a chance, I took a fall so crucify me. I walk away but I feel more like running this isn't a joke, I'm done I said. And after's all been said, done and I proved you wrong, you take it upon yourself to publicly apologize. I feel 20 sets of eyes on me, and I shrink back into the wall, you haven't learned anything.