ptsd

I cried for the first time in a couple of months and it was strange. I was driving and all of a sudden a car came centimeters away from slamming into me. I freaked out, pulled over, parked and cried. I felt so awkward just crying in my car on the side of the road, but even the fact that I came that close to getting into an accident honestly, just sent me right over the edge. I miss his face, his lanky arms and his green eyes. I really would've liked to do something a little more productive. I studied, and then went to my dad's parents' house. I showed them several prints and pictures of the swim team, I love hear old stories about how they met. I really just want to wake up finish my photo assignment, develop my film, and visit colleges and walk around campuses. I've been feeling incredibly overwhelmed as of late, I have no time to do anything and I want to drop a class. I know I can't and I should really just get the easy A, but that's so boring to me. I miss my friends, I miss New York and I don't know what's stopping me from just getting on a train and showing up at her doorstep.