Listening to her to her yell I am taken aback. I feel my hands searching up my sides and my nails start pulling at my skin.
A little shiver runs up my legs and I think about the amount of damage I will inflict f I jump out of the car.
It is harder and harder to be around people who are so negative when I am just trying to get out of my own way.
I know that I can get through this because after one of the shittiest years, I survived for the most part unscathed with some abnormal and precancerous cells.
But, despite the words of others I know it isn't my fault and I didn't deserve nor expect to be so thrown.
I just wanted to go to the ocean yesterday, cry into the waves and have it all be muffled by them crashing down on me.
I want to tumble under the water without any control and come bursting up for air.
I just want to feel alive and well, I don't want medications or surgeries.
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