And it took me so long to realize that I was better off, what an eregious mistake.
It's such a serene feeling to have, to be emersed in everything that I am, with you.
I feel like I could really learn how to feel with you, because the truth is I hate missing you.
I hate feeling so much for you all at once, you make everything real.
And to be quite honest, that's really fucking frightening.
You spend so much time telling yourself not to feel a certain way that you forget what it was like to feel in the first place.
You forget how to cry, or even when it's appropriate to cry.
Your laugh becomes forced, your smile practiced too many times that it almost looks painful with too much gum showing.
You start believing that that is all you deserve, you have the kind of love you think you deserve.
And the day you talk to someone who changes all of that, you really start living.
You open yours eyes in the morning without regretting it instantly and you pause to 'appreciate' the little things.
You could spend hours sleeping on a concave chest because well it's copacetic.
But, it's better than that.
