I've got you, I've got you

It's good to be in love, and that is really just so true.

It has been beautiful out

Sweater weather; my favorite.

Everything just feels too good, half the time I expect my house of cards to just tumble over

But it hasn't...

...(yet)

And honestly I hope it doesn't. I am no longer haunted by the ghosts of what I could have been or who I could have been with. I feel light and occasionally, simple. Laughing comes easy and despite the ever changing status of my home life, I've got you. And at times I feel weird or guilty for putting all this weight on you or into us rather, but it makes no difference. I have finally escaped my own thoughts, I can go to sleep and not hear a thousand little thoughts hovering above me. This weekend is going to be so nice, I can't wait to go hiking with you and your friends tomorrow. I just want to stay outside in this weather for as long as possible.

Swing my heartache

I miss you to the point where my heart aches, it physically hurts. But, when you come home after a week, to me it is like nothing else. You kiss the bridge of my nose over and over, you kiss my cheeks. And I can close my eyes, I can roll over only to find your hand searching for mine. I know I just saw you yesterday, but I miss you already. We always have so little time, for spring break let's take a staycation. Let's just stay right here.

Spring fevah

I am in such a good mood right now I feel as if I am floating. The sun is shining and it is warm on my back. It truly is such a beautiful day out, I want spring and bright colors. I want the sun.
Seeing Liz always puts things into perspective for me it's as if no time has passed and we get completely caught up about everything. Truthfully there is no where else I'd rather be than with a camera slung around my neck, a coffee in hand and a best friend walking beside me. Life is really good right now, I am very optimistic and looking forward to next weekend already, Saturday in particular. I am spending the day with my mum and I am really looking forward to it just being us.

Sore Ribs

"Love pull your sore ribs in
I will pull your tangles out
in the back of your car I feel like
I have traveled nowhere
what will bring me home
what will make me stay, stay
what will bring me home" Not Tonight - Tegan and Sara


I will hold you tight until the morning light floods in
I will kiss away all that hurts you
I will take away all that consumes
I just want you better, please feel better
I don't want to see your tired eyes, where are your bedroom eyes?

You say that we are the best thing

"You, you still have all the answers

and you, you still have them too
and we, we live half in the day time
and we, we live half at night
Watch things on VCR's, with me and talk about big love
I think we're superstars, you say you think we are the best thing"
The Xx - VCR

I just love you.

Gray Matters

The act of missing someone changes and alters over a lifetime. You start off as a little kid and maybe you miss your ratty stuffed animal or your parents when they're at work. You grow up a little and you really lose someone, and it shakes you to the core. It rocks your world, like an earthquake breaking down all your naive little walls in your head. You feel your first crack in your heart that sends pains that shoot right the fuck up your spine. You spend hours hugging your little body and whimpering off to sleep. Your father tells you to grow up, so you do. You create a little shell around you, and all these people they come and they go and some come back. It all messes with your head to the point where you think feeling numb is better than feeling too much. You get older and the more people you lose the harder it is to distinguish the gray.

Slow down

In some ways I wish I never had to go back, that I could just turn my back on them. It is evident that they were never supposed to have these roles, never really thought them through, well that's my luck. I know it could be worse, but I hate that saying it is beyond irritating to me. I feel bad and then I don't. It's a constant war between my head, history and common sense.

You are right they are terrible,
well I mean they have their good moments,
but doesn't everyone?
Isn't everyone just made of good parts?
That's true no one is a perfect whole.

I don't know I guess I really am just ready to let go of this place and all the attachment and sentiment. the people in this house, the good the bad, the especially ugly and the beautiful moments where I woke up to sunshine and snow days.